For much of our careers, leadership development is fairly straightforward.
We learn new concepts. We practice new skills. We get feedback. We read the books, take the courses, attend the conferences and add new tools to our toolkits.
All of that matters. But I’m convinced that, as we continue to grow as leaders, the way we grow needs to evolve, too.
At a certain point, development becomes less about learning the next new concept and more about examining and exploring.
What beliefs have become embedded in the way I lead? What behaviors have become my defaults? What has served me well—and might not serve me quite as well anymore? Whose perspectives are influencing my thinking? And who is willing to challenge it?
Those aren’t questions we’re likely to answer by reading another book.
Growth needs other people
The idea that relationships matter to development isn’t new. The familiar 70-20-10 model of learning has long recognized relationships and feedback as an important source of how we develop at work.
But the role of relationships becomes even more important as leaders become more experienced.
When I think about the times I’ve seen people—including myself—operating at their best, I’m not simply thinking about high performance or great output. I’m thinking about periods when strong results were accompanied by a real sense of meaning and deep engagement in the work.
And when those outcomes have been achieved, there has almost always been a supportive, authentic group of people in the picture.
Not people who agree with everything you say.
People who care enough about your success to challenge you.
There’s something powerful about being in relationship with people you trust enough to say, “I’m not sure I’m looking at this the right way.” Or to have someone tell you, “I think there’s another way to think about that.”
Healthy challenge expands our thinking. It helps expose the assumptions and habits that are difficult to see on our own. And for leaders, there’s an additional benefit: experiencing what it feels like to be challenged well can make us better at creating that same experience for the people we lead.
Developing others, after all, requires us to be able to challenge—and to be challenged.
Community isn’t networking
This isn’t the same as having a strong professional network.
Networks are valuable. But networking can have a transactional quality to it: I help you. You help me. We make an introduction or share an opportunity, and there’s an implicit give and get.
Real community feels different.
Nobody is keeping score.
The underlying assumption is that a rising tide benefits everyone. Sometimes you’re the person offering perspective, making the introduction or asking the question someone else needs to hear. Sometimes you’re the one receiving it. Over time, those roles shift back and forth enough that no one needs to keep a tally.
That requires trust. And trust takes time and intention.
The more senior you become, the more this matters
Leadership brings access to more people, but that doesn’t necessarily mean greater access to candid perspectives.
As responsibilities increase, so can the risk of operating inside an echo chamber. It can become harder to know when someone is telling you what they really think. There may also be legitimate limits to how transparent you can be with the people immediately around you.
That’s one reason I believe leaders need relationships outside their immediate day-to-day environment where candor and challenge are possible.
It’s also easy for successful leaders to deprioritize exactly this kind of connection.
Many of us got where we are because we’re good at getting things done. We respond quickly. We solve the problem. We move to the next thing. Sometimes we swoop in and play the hero.
And then we do it again.
Days become weeks, weeks become months, and it’s possible to spend a tremendous amount of time doing the next thing without creating much space to think about the longer game.
Eventually, that pattern doesn’t just limit our own growth. It can limit the growth of the people around us.
The answer isn’t necessarily another leadership program, book or set of tools.
Sometimes what we need is to become more intentional about who has a seat at the table in our own development.
- Who expands your thinking?
- Who challenges your defaults?
- Who wants you to succeed without needing anything from you in return?
- And whose success are you equally invested in?
If you don’t already have those people around you professionally, building that community may be one of the most important investments you can make in what’s next.